Peer Review 1: ‘Moriboys’ – Frank Tremain

For my first pitch review I will be analysing Frank Tremain’s project, ‘Mori Boys.’ Frank’s project this semester has been altered from hip-hop journalism to the creation of his own personal clothing brand. By creating ‘Mori Boys’ Frank wants to contribute to a hip-hop based clothing scene as there is a current lack of it in Australia. This project will look to correspond with his previous journalism work as he wants to work with Australian hip-hop artists who he has previously worked with. The project is based on his own website and promoted through his Instagram page.  

Frank presented his idea clearly with good referencing to the pitch format by identifying his overall concept, methodology and utility. The pitch in general could’ve been enhanced with visual content and evidence of his previous and current journalistic work. As well as this, incorporating subject references and readings could’ve worked to show the connection between the project and the subject.  


Frank identified two problems which contributed to starting this project. The first problem was the low amount of revenue which hip-hop artists receive which has been lost during this COVID-19 pandemic. The second problem was the lack of merchandise in the hip-hop industry. The DA works to improve and better both problems as it gives artists a way to promote and monetise their content through the development of a clothing brand.  


By basing your DA on multiple platforms, it gives the ability to receive a larger following and make your project flexible. By creating a clear aesthetic over each platform gives your artefact a sense of identity, a theme that followers can look out for. The long term goal of releasing a collection by the end of the semester allows for you to plan a clear method in which will achieve your goal. It also allows the ability to prototype content to see if your methods could work again for another future collection. 


Finally, the utility of this project is clearly conveyed. Hip-hop as you said is a significantly relevant industry now and it is a perfect time to expand in the industry. Taking inspiration from other Australian clothing brands allows Frank to take a similar approach to his brand.  Overall Frank’s project idea is an extremely relevant concept and is clearly planned out for short- and long-term success.  

This a great project which has potential as a pretty unique concept in the field of hip-hop. It’ll be interesting to see how Frank does with the marketing and production aspects, therefore I am looking forward to the progress of this idea in the Beta video.

Peer Review 2: ‘Foreign Footy’ – Leo Twemlow

My second pitch review is Leo Twemlow’s project, ‘Foreign Footy.’ ‘Foreign Footy’ will be a video essay and blog post collaboration on the sport of rugby league in America. With little to no exposure of the sport, Leo will aim to shine a light on rugby league on both the international ad American stage.  

Through watching Leo’s pitch video, I am intrigued to see where he will take it. Due to Leo’s great knowledge and understanding of the sport of rugby league, the pitch is engaging and you can truly tell that Leo will put time and effort into making the project worth while. He uses the pitch format to create an ingenious pitch idea which will aim to raise awareness of the sport of rugby league, being so similar to popular contact sports in the USA.

Overall providing a product timeline to show that he has already got a plan in mind, as well as the use of the FIST principle, shows that Leo is adhering to subject references.


Leo clearly conveys his project concept through listing the core components of it in the opening part of the pitch. Important to note under the ‘background’ subheading that Leo has a clear knowledge of the sport of rugby league and therefore already understands the context and current state of the sport. A clear problem is stated and justified with a solution to fix such problem over the course of the semester. Expanding a sport with such a small scale of popularity is an idea, if well executed, which can have large ramifications on an international level.


Leo plans to create video essays and distribute these videos to niche sub reddits raising awareness of the sport. As stated in the pitch, Reddit is a great platform for growth, especially with such a niche project idea. This is something which I may look at changing about my DA in effort to make it a multi-platform project. Accumulating his results in a blog each week can allow for reflection on what is working and what needs to be changed. Displaying his results into a platform such as blog website can provoke feedback from his audience and even members of the American audience.


Based on statistics and data provided in the pitch, Leo’s DA is relevant and has the ability to create change in the American sporting market. Due to America’s population, the sport of Rugby League has the potential to slide into the American sporting scene and compete with a similar sports league in NFL.

Personally I cannot think of many key weaknesses of this project as it does have the opportunity for growth and development in a niche market. I would advise, if Leo hasn’t already, having a look at previous research in the field of American rugby league and locating any important sources of information which can benefit his own work.


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